Bancuri

[MCojo]

No era asa de aglomerat la benzinarie ca n-au gasit loc decat la pompa opusa?!!!

[tolin]

De ce, scrie in manualul lor ca trebuie alimentat doar de la o pompa (pompa 1) ?

[rm.popa]

Cred că de fapt e vorba de multitudinea de "lipitori" de pe fund.

Şi eu m-am prins destul de greu...

[tolin]

Ah, alea care sug "sangele" poporului ? Adanc scris, dom'le ...

[balky]

sa sti ca si eu fac asa de multe ori. nu am chef sa astept pana se elibereaza pompa pe dreapta si de accea trag de furtunul ala peste masina. nu cred ca voi nu ati facut asa niciodata

[tolin]

Niciodata, parol.

[laurentziu83]

Decat sa ma chinui sa trag pompa asa, mai bine astept sau intru din sens opus la pompa.

Oricum, pompele de gaz sunt aproape toate pe partea dreapta.

Edited August 19, 2007 by laurentziu83

[Zmeul cel rau]

Decat sa mai stau 1o minute mai bine trag asa. Oricum la mine furtunul in pozitia aia nu atinge tabla.

[VAXXi]

Daca mai aud pe cineva plangandu-se ca e aglomerat pe litoral ... il trimit aici.

 

[Zmeul cel rau]

Cel mai tare comentariu:

 

okay! how many of them peed? any idea

[balky]

La mine in spatele blocului.

[VAXXi]

Rugina ?

[mike.omega]

A inflorit rugina, parca asa era o vorba

[balky]

Rugina ?

 

 

Floricele.

[Wolfman]

"Fiecare are gusturile lui in muzica... N-are cum sa asculte toata lumea numai Schopenhauer" - Costi Ionita

[vesperala]

Nevasta unui detinut în audienta la directorul penitenciarului:

- Domnule director, am venit aici sa va rog sa-i dati barbatului meu o munca mai usoara.

- Dar, doamna, barbatul dv. lipeste etichete pe sticle, deci nu vad in asta un lucru greu.

- Nenorocitul, mie mi-a zis ca sapa un tunel.

[VAXXi]

Semne de circulatie la italieni (si pentru cei cu spirit de observatie, completate in stil romanesc).

[Wolfman]

Ieri, la iarba verde, din "folclorul" revarsat dintr-un Passat:

"...

I love you baby yeah, i love you jaga jaga

I love you da' nu ma chinui degeaba

Tu sti prea bine ca privind atat la fundul tau

Am sa raman la mama flacau

I need you baby yeah, i need you jaga jaga

I need you da' nu ma chinui degeaba

Tu sti prea bine ca privind atat la fundul tau

Am sa raman la mama flacau"

..."

[Mircea]

Radio 21, Daniel Buzdugan - Jaga-Jaga. Un pamflet

[rimache]

Ce e 90-60-90 ?

 

R: Variatia vitezei cand incepe aparatul de detectare a radarului sa cante

[papie]

Da, era candva. Acum trebuie una cu 50 in talie.

[VAXXi]

Next time you're washing your hands and the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s.

 

Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor.

 

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children -- last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water."

 

Houses had thatched roofs -- thick straw -- piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the dogs, cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof -- hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

 

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

 

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt, hence the saying "dirt poor."

 

The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they kept adding more thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entranceway, hence, a "thresh hold."

 

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been there for quite awhile. Hence the rhyme, "peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old."

 

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man "could bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."

 

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with a high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

 

Most people did not have pewter plates, but had trenchers, a piece of wood with the middle scooped out like a bowl. Often trenchers were made from stale bread which was so old and hard that they could be used for quite some time. Trenchers were never washed and a lot of times worms and mold got into the wood and old bread. After eating off wormy, moldy trenchers, one would get "trench mouth."

 

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or "upper crust."

 

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake."

 

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a "bone-house" and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be "saved by the bell" or was considered a "dead ringer."

 

And that's the truth. . . (who ever said that History was boring)?

[dreaQ]

Un pitic in autobuz intreaba o tipa buna inalta :

- Te dai jos ?

Tipa raspunde: - Da!

Piticul: Cu ce, ca miroase frumos. ...

 

 

Un elicopter s-a prabusit intr-un cimitir. Politia a descoperit peste 500 de morti!

[Viz]

Doua tipe seara tarziu pe strada. O patrula de jandarmi le opreste. Seful patrulei zice:

- Buna seara, actele la control, va rog!

Una dintre tipe raspunde:

- Sunt stewardesa, tocmai ce am sosit dintr-un voiaj si acum merg repede spre casa sa fac un dus, sa ma schimb, pentru ca tocmai am fost anuntata ca trebuie sa plec imediat intr-un alt voiaj. Cum timpul este foarte scurt, in graba cu care am plecat am uitat geanta cu actele la serviciu. Va rog sa intelegeti situatia creata, dar timpul ma preseaza si ma grabesc...

- Bun, inteleg, raspunde jandarmul. Dar dumneavoastra? zice el adresandu-se celeilalte tipe.

La care tipa, rosie toata, raspunde:

- Si eu tot curva sunt, dar nu stiu sa ma exprim...

[ticodriver]

... Here are some facts about the 1500s.

 

Din pacate, modu' de viata enuntat acolo se mai practica in Romania in mediul rural